Where’s the ‘Love’ Island?

Im an addict

It’s no secret that I’m hooked on love island , I’m guessing I’m not the expected target audience , teacher, mother of two but then again maybe I am maybe that because my life is so devoid from the islanders existence that that’s the appeal. Do I long for perfect veneered teeth, tan topped up torsos,  Rapunzel extensions and contoured cheekbones,  well probably yeah as long as someone else was responsible for the maintenance like they are on Love Island. Who would have thought that after all that time getting ready they would still need a team of hairdressers cooks and beauticians to keep them looking like real life Barbie’s and Ken’s. But that’s the thing it’s unachievable for most of it so the voyeuristic nature of shows like this allow some escapism from the humdrum and the fact that most of their choices would be better made by preschoolers makes it their perfect exteriors easier to swallow and thus unmissable tv , … a social experiment at its finest with carefully orchestrated challenges and twists to create the upmost controversy and confrontation. But would I want to be in place where I feel so insecure? without my family and real friends giving only days / weeks to hook up with a partner?… no I would not and I would probably fail much as Alex has done. Not because he’s not handsome, intelligent or kind, he’s just not got the unique skills that a Love Island contestant must have. I’ll leave you to your own conclusions about what those are.

The Lurve

Back to the love, We’re led to believe by every contestant that there intentions are genuine, “ I’ve played the field, I had my crazy time, now I’m ready to settle down!” said nobody ever in the real world at 21!!!!! My rational brain says don’t get sucked in – these people all have a game plan as there’s £50k at stake and most are probably coached before they go in by the same chap who’s picking England’s line ups if the Belgium game is anything to go on. But I do, I start to will them to fall in love, I’ve been screaming at the TV for the girls to show Alex more affection even though his attempts to chat the girls up is cringe-worthy at times and reeks of desperation.
I believed Wes when he told Laura he was falling for her, an older woman with insecurities… not making any comparisons at all here 😬, I wanted to believe, no, I did believe and was absolutely gutted when his Oscar worthy speech was left in tatters after Megan became his new leading lady. There’s no Love there really , even between the groups. What ever happened to the ‘girl code’ Megan didn’t just ignore it but smirked and shook her fake love-cushions in front of Laura with no remorse what so ever . Not to mention Samira and her treachery. The boys are just as bad first was Eyal to parade Megan in front of Alex, Adam was a wrong-un from the start and was down right horrible to Rosie even if she did stomp around the villa like it was her own personal catwalk . He then made a swift 360 in his demeanor after i can only assume the producers intervened . The only ones that generally seem to care for each other are jack and Dani but even then I sometimes wish they would pipe up at the behavior of some of the other guests,  but then I suppose on a show which is basically a popularity contest it pays to sit on the fence and flash your shiny white veneers.
So for the next 4 weeks I will continue to shout at the telly, gasp at the idiotic comments, laugh at the ridiculous games, breathe in and vow to start another diet and hope that everyone is a bit more like Laura and that Dani and Jack keep the ‘Love’ in ‘Love Island’. Failing that next year I’m putting up the cash for a spinoff called ‘Blub Island’ for normal people, sponsored by Ben and Jerry’s and simplyB 😬😂😘 there won’t be an avocado in sight 😂😂


Zara is gone, Adam won’t stay single for long,
Eyal dumped too, the relationship with Ellie was to new.
Alex is a catch, the nations praying for a match
G and Josh are pretty cool, mostly from her bombing in the pool.
Laura has shown herself a proper lady, Samira has acted really shady .
Dannie’s making her Daddy proud, Jacks made it clear “ no other girls aloud”
Sams a geek, has only been in a week
That leave us with the Wes the fake, and Megan who’s a sly slimy snake.

(written before Saturday’s show 01/07/18)