An Ode to Miss Fancy Pants

My child may not be the tamest or even the most shrew,
But here’s a lesson all should learn when waiting in a queue.
Just because your child is saintly, quiet and content,
With sitting in a shop trolley not all have the same temperament.
Mine likes to climb and clamber, a Houdini at 2ft 2,
Runs down the aisles (full of smiles) and talks to OAP’s about poo

I’m glad you’re really proud of your offspring’s attitude,
But there’s no need to boast and brag – its really rather rude!
To say, “I do it this way” or “haven’t you tried this?”
I reply, in tone quite dry, are you trying to take the ****!


If you see I’m struggling would a helping hand be too much?
Or at least an empathetic smile or even a thoughtful touch.
As next time if you decide to gloat and gossip like I’m not there
I might just strap you upside down in that trolley’s tiny chair 😏


Thank you to the lovely ladies I met in Sainsbury’s today for the inspiration!
Let’s fix each other’s crown ladies, not knock em off 😘