I think the secret to a great wedding reception is a successful stag and hen do. It’s a chance for everyone to bond so that all the polite niceties can be bypassed and you can do straight to the mosh pit dancing of Kriss Kross’ ‘Jump Around’.
My two friends are getting married, I organised one hen and one of the other bridesmaids the other, both hens were brilliant but very different. I’ll do another post about the one I organised soon but for now here are some of the do’s and don’ts of hen do etiquette.
Do… book a central town apartment for your quests.
Don’t… get lost and end up driving up a one way street much to the annoyance of local taxi drivers, only to realise the ‘castle’ you’ve been using for navigation is actually a church.
Do… play beer pong, Cards Against Humanity and Twister
Don’t… play Twister if your trousers have large holes in the crotch
Do… get an Apartment to yourself
Don’t… forget where friends are staying the next morning and walk in on a nice family eating their breakfast still wearing a penis sticker on your top
Do… get a lift in a flash car
Don’t… go with a man who passed his test on the 5th time of trying whilst lost in Leicester playing bad hip hop music after a night on the ale 🤢
Do… play foot-golf, even in the rain – it’s jolly good fun
Don’t… celebrate your par shot by circling the hole flicking the v’s at your mates before realising there’s the other proper golf players behind you
Do… get soaking wet and have a jolly good laugh at your mates falling over on the course in the mud
Don’t… get cocky with your football skills after the game and monumentally fall over on the concrete in front of said friends who you’ve previously mocked (you don’t get much sympathy just a very sore body and broken elbow).
Do… have a dirty burger – it sorts you right out
Don’t… put heated seats on in car if you have incontinence issues, you cannot be sure of the outcome of that warm feeling
Do… have a wonderful deep bubbly warm bath with coffee and no kids
Don’t… get plug stuck and have to resort to putting freshly washed hair under water (ala apple bobbing) to try to remove plug with teeth nearly drowning yourself in the process
Do… enjoy a cocktail-making session with gorgeous young bartender
Don’t… get mistaken for a group of hairdressers due to both bride-to-be’s brothers looking camper than a caravaning holiday in Brighton
Do… play silly games, dares with forfeits and shots
Don’t… forget to bring your spare pants as hilarity ensues and you lunge, spin, split, worm and fail to land a round-off in pubs around the town
Do… compliment beautifully dressed ladies in the toilet in your shiny flats and novelty hen t-shirts with brides face emblazoned on front
Don’t… be upset if they mistake you for the toilet attendant and ask you for a lolly
Do… go to novelty bars where the decor resembles the inside of a plane
Don’t… keep complaining about the ridiculous amount of smoke and every time you walk into the loo’s announce “tonight Matthew I’m going to be…” not everyone is as old or clearly as funny as you think you are 🙄👏
Do… be a good friend and ensure all friends are thoroughly hydrated and intercept flailing limbs from drunken friends before we are challenged for a rumble
Don’t… loose friend, apartment keys, handbag, purse, Wilson, driving license or dignity on a bank holiday when no apartment staff are working… This results in overcrowded previous solo apartment situation and cheesy feet in face as you top and tail
Do… laugh about it all the next morning with new bed buddies
Don’t… trust your farts
Do… go to Escape Room activity, complete it in record time and claim victory over other team
Don’t… shout “is your momma proud of you” at traffic wardens, they are only doing their jobs!
Do… have a bloody good weekend and make some awesome new friends
Don’t… expect new friends to remember your choreographed cheesy moves when you next meet again at the wedding
@twister, #twister, #lollypop, #henparty, @CAH, @escapereality_leicester, #football-golf