Team Endomorph

Sue is more than just a best mate, she my children’s godmother, my sounding board, sister from another mister and partner in crime (to which quite a few have been committed mostly due to our fashion sense) we met at university… ahem… 16 years ago after being paired for a history module and we’ve never looked back… get it looked back, history ha ha I crack myself up 😂🙄🙈

Although she lives in Essex we always see each other and speak regularly on the phone, good friends are priceless – I can be absolutely honest with her and I know I’ll receive the same. I remember complaining about my ski slope boobs after Ethan had been munching for 9 months, “ They can’t be that bad…” I lift my jumper… “Jeez, I see what you mean!” 😂😂 but we just laughed and I think sometimes that’s the best cure for life’s lemons. We called ourselves team endomorph (a scientific term for the slightly larger framed) in defiance to the majority of the campus slim figured lovelies. We’ve been in some interesting situations.

One of the funniest was during a last minute assignment completion (we never got anything in on time) we had gone back to my place to finish it but the door wouldn’t open, being desperate we hunted for an open window, luckily I wasn’t that safety conscious back in the day. I jumped through and urged Sue onward. I do have probably a foot height wise on Sue so the leap up to the window was a bit harder for her and instead of getting a foot up she landed belly down 😳😳, half of her in my living room and her behind and legs wiggling frantically outside 😂😂 by this point I was in fits of laughter trying to drag her by her arms and in to the living room but she was wedged in fast, her endomorph physique was not helping. Luckily or unluckily the postman passed by (we were in the neighbours garden) and helped her through by giving her a nudge from… ahem.., behind 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I couldn’t breath and it was only when she plopped on my living room floor that I realised she had been impaled on the window fittings. We spent the next few hours trying to finish the project in the freezing cold as the locksmith sorted the door eating fish and chips which I bought her after feeling so guilty, laughing at her unfortunate situation.

Sue is a beautiful woman with an ample cleavage 🍉🍉 (fondly called the girls) after already accidentally being fondled by an OAP in the queue for our Toby Carvery, Sue beaming in anticipation of her well stacked plate made her way to our table, but as she cornered a post the unthinkable happened and the back of her bra strap caught on what I think was a lonely picture hook. The next few moments seemed to happen in slow motion. Sue continued to move forward but her jumper was stretching, stretching stretching behind until… THHHHHAAAWWWWKKK the laws of physics caught up with her and so did her bra strap into her raw flesh! The HOWL threw several pensioners into a frenzy (the ones that could hear anyway) as again I was left crying into my Yorkshire at the sheer unfortunateness of it all.
I have plenty more baldy and biscuit stories to tell but for now (for the sake of my weakened pelvic floor) I will just say this, to all the besties our there – thank you for always having our backs, thanks for the honesty and thanks for just being you. Women are strong but even stronger when we unite together. Sue I salute you (in a Mr Brittas kinda way) loves ya